There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers.
- Richard Feynman

After watching Wee Li Lin's short documentary on samsui women, I told Dave that this should make a sobering ad for SDU cos it pushed panic buttons on growing old alone. But then again, who needs men like Moron?

I'm going to rant about the user who doesn't read emails, whom I shall call Moron. Yes cruel but true, so I'm not going to be all PC about it. Why am I angry with him?

1. Moron has gone one step further by not answering his mobile phone either and this is a hassle for me since he sits on the other end of the company, in a server room where there is no phone extension. He will concede to answering SMS though, but when I phone his mobile phone immediately after receiving his SMS, he will not pick up the call. Amazing.

2. Knowing Moron doesn't read his email or answer his mobile phone, I've walked over personally to tell him face-to-face about an important email to read before editing a data file. Actually pointed out the exact email listing all the necessary changes on his screen. Guess what? Data file comes back without the changes mentioned in email.

3. Moron clocks in the bulk of his time to my project, but I know he spends lots of time on other goodness-knows-what tasks. And this charging means I'm not hitting project budget.

4. Moron doesn't want to understand WHY I ask him to do things in a certain way, and gives me his stubborn "not listening" look when I try to explain. But if he doesn't understand why, there's no stopping him from making the same mistakes again next time.

5. And Moron gives me attitude. There's an important meeting today with a vendor which I've asked Moron to attend so he could observe and learn. And he didn't. Though I've verbally told him 2 days ago. With a follow-up reminder email. And a SMS this morning before the vendor is due this afternoon. And 2 phone calls when the vendor was finally here. And yet another SMS. I stopped short of going over to him and pulling him over cos if he didn't want to learn, I wasn't going to beg him. And he wandered over 2 hours later to say that he was concentrating on the one and only task I've assigned him and didn't want to be distracted.

But since Moron is my customer's personnel, I can't openly shoot him down in front of his boss and ask to transfer him out. And to top it off, they're reducing 2 months off my project dateline so I need to deliver faster with the current resources. Woohoo.

This morning as if by magic, I dug out a one dollar China coin from my wallet. It's probably the result of my neglect to check coins returned by food vendors as well as deceit by one of them to pass it off. Still it was unexpected and I thought it quite funny. I haven't seen one of these coins for years.

You know, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for us to present something to you that we feel strongly about.
- E-Z Rollers, at the opening of Tough at the Top

Somehow I like that. The faith they had in their music.

Waiting for the train home, I leaned against the glass door and buried my nose in my book, impatient to finish. It's not that I don't know the ending cos I do. I always read ahead to know how it ends even before I know how it begins. So I didn't notice you till the train arrived, and I stepped in and sat down, and you sat down next to me. You said hi tentatively like you didn't want to disturb my reading, cos it's not like we really know each other besides superficially. But I put away my book anyway and we talked about inconsequential things, which expanded into a surreal conversation about killing animals, for experiments to be precise.

You've killed hundreds of laboratory rats, so many you've lose count. You also spoke matter-of-factly about the different ways of killing different laboratory animals (you explained about using a guillotine and I didn't really want to believe it), and about the average number of rats you need for each sampling experiment in order to ensure data integrity. I remembered my blog on data integrity, and how ironically different its meaning is from yours. You weren't gloating or trying to scare me, and you weren't apologetic either. When you pursued your passion, you hadn't realise the amount of clinical killing involved. Later you've come to accept this, and learnt to deflect questions from people like me with a standard smooth reply. I know your work will be beneficial, much more than mine will ever be. But I'm glad I don't do what you do. It must be very tough on you.

In order to kill yourself running, you first have to train yourself to be a good runner.
Paul Auster, In the Country of Last Things

The book I'd start on when I'm done with The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay.

On data conversion. What I'm supposed to do at work is check data formatting eg. length of fields, to make sure data can be read properly for upload by programs into the system. My users on the other hand, need to guarantee the integrity of the data. However, I've found it necessary to check their data as well, even though the natural assumption is that the data is accurate, since the users are the ones who use it most often and know it best. In reality, the people who own the data are the most careless with it. They let slip little inconsistencies in naming conventions and standardizations, and leave other fields empty cos they understand the data anyway, or can recall data even though it hasn't been recorded.

What they keep forgetting is we're trying to put the data in the system so other people can retrieve and analyse the data too. They keep forgetting why we're having the new system.

On music. Someone was telling me about a niche variation of speedbass, which is more than 240bpm and only about 16 seconds long. So I timed it in my head - 4 beats to each second - to figure out the sound. I didn't quite get it but it made me smile, and I wonder what it'd be like to run while listening to a speedbass track on autorepeat. I find that music I'll dance to is also music I'll run to... maybe it's the same thing, whatever gets my feet to respond.

Today I bought an old album by E-Z Rollers called Weekend World, which is sorta like jazz and soul influenced drum & bass. Their music was featured in the movie Lock, Stock & 2 Smoking Barrels but I have no recollection. Anyway, I'm blogging now while listening to it and it's dead brilliant. Can't wait to get their latest album.

Also watched 8 Mile. Eminem has a brooding presence you just can't ignore; some folks may point out that it's cos his real life closely mirrors the movie, but I think he did fine. I'm biased though since I only own one rap album and it's his.

Last thought. I realised too that I'd rather spend money on music first and foremost. Not clothes, not books, not toys, not movies, not pool. Music is the last thing I'll compromise on.

Slept nearly 10 hours. Ran 6km at the gym today listening to Eminem's The Way I am on autorepeat. Read till page 226 of The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, making it 400+ pages to go. Made new acquaintances. Discovered a board game I would never play again, even if it's endorsed by Tony Buzan. Oh yeah, and posted my shortest entry for a day for no good reason.

Boo.

Baking analogy at work today. While drafting out a recipe, I was asked to make the recipe sound more enticing, like "we use baking powder pure white as the driven snow" and "we beat our cake mixture with tender loving care" etc. I objected as I believe that the function of a recipe is to instruct on cake baking and not to market the cake, and as a result was thought to be uncooperative. *roll eyes*

Laziness is being called on your mobile phone from your co-worker's mobile phone, though both of you are in the office... cos it's too much trouble to hunt for the phone extension number.

my best friend: (9:49 PM) we should quarrel one of these days.
me: (9:49 PM) WE?
my best friend: (9:49 PM) yeah, why not?
me: (9:49 PM) we've never quarrelled. I dunno how to start
my best friend: (9:50 PM) come on u cunt!
me: (9:50 PM) lol

My users are nice but inefficient folks, ie. they work hard rather than smart. There's one who can only cope with one task at a time, so he has stopped reading his emails. However, emailing is my most basic means of communication since I don't have time to meet with everyone to convey every new update. As a result, this user didn't incorporate changes requested for in the emails into the task he's doing. This lengthened the task time and added to his frustration. He's a doer, not a thinker; and often he would do the wrong thing first rather than think, just for the sake of doing something. No amount of coaxing from me would make him read his emails, and I sense that he's tuning me out so he can focus on his task.

People are the most difficult elements in a project, not the cake.

I think I've fallen sick.

Middle-earth Name Generator courtesy of da mouse.
A possible elven name for me is Vinyaerin. Hmm, not that far from vaya is it?

Worked continuously at customer's without respite, 'cept for loo breaks and a 10 minute lunch (during which I ate while phoning my own office for other matters). No idle chit chats, social emails or internet surfing; I was an efficient autobot.

Biggest boo boo today. I was cradling the phone receiver against my shoulder for an hour-long teleconference while emailing, converting data and having another small discussion (hopefully unnoticed by the teleconference folks) on the side. Caught my earring accidentally against the phone receiver in the midst of all this multitasking and tugged it painfully. Instinctively I blurted out something along the vein of Shit, f***ing earring. There was momentary silence on the phone, before everyone carried on as if they haven't heard. There's something to be said about asian diplomacy after all.

Forget about what you are escaping from.. Reserve your anxiety for what you are escaping to.
- Michael Chabon, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay

The book I didn't know existed but wished to read now that I know it does.

Currently reading Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, which is to put it simply, the story of 2 comic writers in World War II.

A line in the book struck a chord in me cos I remember blogging about something similar (but I must admit I'm too lazy to plough through my archives to find it). I once wrote that I felt like an audience participating in a magician's disappearing act, suspended in time, just waiting waiting waiting to emerge. And then I read this:

"To me, Clark Kent in a phone booth and Houdini in a packing crate, they were one and the same thing... You weren't the same person when you came out as when you went in."

Metamorphosis. I'm not going to be the same person when I come out as when I went in. So maybe all this waiting has a purpose after all.

Suffice to say today my UK travelmate and I broke the bad luck cycle of missing our bus, so henceforth, the outlook for this year has improved. :)

How my bro and I resemble dad. When barefoot and seated, all 3 of us would instinctively rest our feet on the ground with our toes curled in. Till today, this quirky habit perplexes my mum no end.

Learnt a new word today. Diaspora. A dispersion of people from their original homeland. A word bound to many stories and heartbreak.

We have this history of impossible solutions for insoluble problems.
- Will Eisner

But what really is my problem? I'm not even sure about that.

Things I know from experience which don't work for me: drinking coffee; eating tomato-based pasta; and dating guys who listen to Westlife or Michael Learns to Rock.

End of another tiring day. Haven't checked emails or read blogs. Came home for dinner and predictably mum has cooked fish and veges. My mum's mission is to feed me, or to be more precise, feed me fish, veges and fruits (in that order). With my tight schedule, somehow I only have time to eat one meal at home each week (excluding breakfast). And mum knowing me, has a healthy distrust of the food I tend to eat outside. So we reach this strange state where I eat rarely at home; and each time I do, I already know what I'll be eating. If only I can convince her that I'm reasonably healthy to not bother about feeding me the right sort of food.

But at least someone is cooking me dinner, and I know better than to complain.

Religion never found me
Holy water never drowned me
How the devil still astounds me
How did it ever get to being this way
- My Computer, Vulnerabilia

Auto-repeat song today and what a long day.

HMV staff called me today to say they've finally located the 2 copies of My Computer's Vulnerabilia. Went down after work to buy my most expensive single CD to date at $40, and ran my usual 6km listening to it and beaming beaming BEAMING.

There's a song on it called I Don't Care How You Treat Me which I have an odd fondness for. It's not the most tuneful; in fact it balloons into an agitated fast-paced drum & bass track. Not many lines, mostly just the title being repeated over and over like self-denial, before it mutates into the line I Treat Me, as if healing finally took place. Nice.

The only interesting thing I did today besides work (which isn't that interesting but well it's productive), is listen to a song by Bill Hicks called The War. So I googled Bill, and strangely he reminded me of da mouse.

Pupi is right. I need to carry a comb around for mini-Blythe. And I don't even do that for myself. lol.

Uploaded some pics of my mini-Blythe and realise I consistently don't resize them to the same dimensions. My digicam's flash is too strong but I'm too lazy to find out how to deactivate it while taking pics. We tried taking a pic where my best friend covered the flash with his finger and that shot came out well. It's the shot of mini-Blythe standing next to the hot water dispenser at a sushi bar M, he and I were having dinner. I guess the pics are as much a trail of where I've been as it is a trail of where mini-Blythe has been.

And we're still debating on how to pronounce Blythe. I say Blythe (as in life) and my best friend says Blythe (as in myth).

My best friend commented that if I'm projecting myself onto my Blythe doll, my body proportions will be way too distorted.. like my head will be so big it'll end at my torso. Eh.

Somewhere playing hide and seek in HMV are 2 copies of My Computer's Vulnerabilia. Their computer inventory says they have it, but no one can find it. And there isn't a need to order more stock cos they already have it. Sort of. Though I hope they'll be found, I envy them for their ability to disappear without a trace.

I miss reading Jason.

Brought my mini-Blythe out today and took pics of her in HMV, in a phone booth, on the bus.. the bigger Blythe will be quite a hassle to bring out though. Wonder if I should bring my mini-Blythe on my next overseas trip, like that travelling garden gnome in Amelie. Hmm. Oh yah, another bimbotic day buying clothes including my first 2 items from Zara.

Called Tech Support for email access problem just now. He made me repeat my password a few times (and he sounded amused), but problem has been fixed. Maybe it's time to change my password. Spent the rest of the morning reading a toy messageboard. Up to Disc 7 of the anime Fushigi Yuugi. Discovered someone else has the same habit of bringing her Blythe out for photo shoots. Gym soon. It's the weekend and all's right with the world.

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the spaces between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.
- Maya Angelou

One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it.
- Vincent van Gogh

The body is a house of many windows: there we all sit, showing ourselves and crying on the passers-by to come and love us.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Very productive day but no mood to blog. Generated so many work-related emails at my customer's that the users are afraid to open emails from me. Arranged to meet friends this weekend. Bought both boxsets for the anime Fushigi Yuugi. And I drank more water! Hope you all drank more too. :)

So busy at work that I forgot to drink water. Ridiculous but true. I'm pathetic.

Blythe, California.

I have faith in music, books, film and the orange face mask.

Started taking glucosamine sulphate again cos my left knee began to ache; my third earhole isn't really healing as well as it should be; work is piling up; and I haven't had time to read.

Life is like a google search.. you never know what you gonna get.

Blythe is barefoot now cos I don't like to put the knee length white boots on her, for fear of breaking her skinny legs. Must surf auction sites to buy clothes for her. No matter how obsessed I am, I'm afraid I've far outgrown the age to make doll clothes.

Told Dave that I can't explain why I love Blythe. The way she doesn't smile but look sadly out the corner of her eyes, like she's avoiding your gaze. He said I'm probably projecting. Maybe.

You spend more time listening to the equipment when you should be listening to the music.
- b12, on the pitfalls of not being an audiophile

I've gone nuts today. I've bought myself a Hollywood Blythe doll as well as a mini Parco Blythe today. My Hollywood Blythe has cropped shoulder length platinum blonde hair and huge eyes which can toggle between amber, green, pink and blue; while the tiny Parco one is a brunette with blue eyes (colour doesn't toggle for the mini dolls). I keep seeing pics of Blythe dolls taken by lomos, and somehow their huge sad faces look so appealing. Maybe I should take my Blythes out for a photo shoot with my lomo too.

Baking analogy at work today. To recap, currently I'm on a project to help my customer coordinate the baking of their slice of cake in a regional bake & bond session. The bakery is located outside Singapore so no one here can tell how much time the bakers are spending on our slice of the cake. The problem is no one informed us that the bakers are also charging us for work done on the cake in general, and not just on our slice. This makes sense technically, but we didn't budget to pay for ingredients that don't go into our slice. So what we have on hand is a potential budget overrun even before the cake gets baked.

The bakers can't charge less, the customer can't pay more, and the cake must rise above this. Fun fun fun.

There is or used to be a club called Dorian Gray in the Frankfurt airport (yes, like in the Oscar Wilde book). I've never been there, but the few times I've been in Frankfurt, people have told me to check in my luggage, club and then board the plane for home. Strange. :) Today I stumbled onto a CD compilation of music from Dorian Gray and just had to buy it. I guess this is what I call clubbing by proxy.

In terms of relationship, my best friend described me as a tough nut to crack, or in football terms, the last minute goal.

On the upward bound escalator behind a young girl. She's just tall enough to rest her hand on the escalator belt for support, but she reached further to brush her hand against the belt of the downward bound escalator beside us. No one downward bound noticed her, cos no one needed to rest their hand on the belt for support. But there was one middle aged man who did, though he was staring blankly into space. As upward girl and downward man were brought closer and closer together, I waited curiously for their hands to collide, for the man to jolt into consciousness. Except at the last moment, the girl pulled her hand out of range and contact was never established. Man moved on down oblivious to her existence. Girl and I moved on up, cowards moving in tandem.

And the first good day of the year too.