I think I know how it feels like to break up with an entire country.

The magician spun his coin absentmindedly as his assistant looked on. Coin tricks would be his new act because the disappearing act had lost favour with the audience. There was only so much entertainment people could derive from seeing someone vanish. However, coin tricks could only be a one-man show and the magician knew he would lose his assistant.

Though it's true that the magician is the one who understands best what his assistant goes through, the reverse also holds. The magician's assistant is also the one who understands best what the magician does.

People I know here from co-workers, friends, neighbours to security guards, have all asked if I've considered working here long term. But I'm just going where my job will bring me next, and the future seems to point towards Thailand and Philippines though I'll be based out of Singapore.

Had a farewell meal last night, where a co-worker mentioned giving re-watching Terry Gilliam's Brazil DVD a miss in order to make it for dinner. Later on I realised that I also started this year thinking about visiting Brazil with my ex-colleague in Poland, and went as far as to get the travel guide. But this plan got shelved since I resigned soon after. So this year started and will end with Brazil in a way.

I cleared my office desk this morning and it's the cleanest it has looked for months. I'll miss having my own desk cos I'll be hotdesking back in Singapore. I've never bought into the idea of hotdesking despite its practicality.

I've become restless and found it harder to sleep at night. It's this build-up to leaving that I can't stand.

I'm on a chewing gum binge as my last days here draw near. I'm the sort who won't take out the last piece of gum after chewing till it's tasteless. Instead, I'll pop in a new piece and let the gum accumulate till it's like a jawbreaker. It's really not as bad as it sounds.

I've also started packing and discovering all these things I wouldn't have bought if only I knew then what I know now (yes dear kettle and frying pan, amongst other things I'm talking about you).

This Christmas I received two David Lynch DVDs, but I gave them back cos I already had them. Instead I swapped them for a backup gift, a wooden beaded necklace which I'm growing quite fond of though at first sight, it's really not me. What's better is now I have a necklace with a David Lynch story.

No I'm not ready to go but we can't be ready for everything.

I woke up this morning and realised what I've missed all this while.
Though it sounds contradictory to being content, I hope I learn to feel hungry again.

On one of my last walks around Hong Kong, I reached Wedding Card Street in Wanchai, which was near empty as almost every shop had moved to make way for redevelopment of the area. The residents fought a losing battle against this move, and there were still unheeded protest banners left behind. I stopped at one of two lone remaining shops, and asked if I could buy Chinese New Year red packets printed in my family name. The old shopkeeper showed me a box filled with different exquisite designs, and kindly advised me not to buy the most expensive one. They were all so lovely, but I finally picked out a gold design with colourful peonies and asked to buy a pack. The old shopkeeper then took out a shopping bag for me and I declined, saying that my slingbag could hold it. He patiently replied yes, but my slingbag wouldn't be able to hold the calendars.

To my surprise, he gave me 3 different calendars for buying a pack of red packets from him.

I guess we were both sad about leaving.

Another office Christmas party today. After today, I'll only be back in the office (and have internet access) on 28 Dec. In this interval, I plan to watch "Harry Potter", make trips to the New Territories, and generally wander around alone in my last days here.

Merry Christmas everyone :) Have a good time!

Today is the official start of winter in the Chinese calendar, and tonight most families are holding reunion dinners to celebrate. Temperature hovers round 11 degrees Celsius and there's strong wind too. It's the sort of day where I'm bundled in 3 layers of clothes including coat and scarf, and yet will still find my fingers numb and tingly when I reach the office. I realise I love wearing scarfs and yet they are so impractical back home.

People are kind to me. Now the security guards open the building gym earlier, so I won't need to ask them for the key when I run in the morning. And sometimes my next-cubicle colleague will make coffee for me and keep it warm till I arrive in the office. I've received a hand-made Christmas card from the sweet young girl at my client's and it's been a while since I've received anything hand-made. And then there are pre-Christmas celebration meals nearly everyday this week at work.

It's the last few days of the year and everything is lovely.

You know the bit about how an optimist sees a glass as half full while a pessimist sees it as half empty? Well, I'm an extreme optimist. Not only do I see the glass as half full, I'll go further and think how beautiful the glass looks. A friend on the other hand, doesn't care how much water is in the glass as long as there's water.

Recently I've been questioned by friends on how "zen" I sound, because my optimism seems too good to be true and it's not buoyed by religion. But I don't know how to justify it, or if it can even be justified.

I just hope not to lose it.

I bought the KT202B1 model of the binary watch and tried to get the hang of adding numbers to tell time within 5 seconds (that's the duration in which the watch display will light up).

Over the weekend, I also walked from my place to Wanchai to check out the anti-WTO protestors and the Hong Kong police barricades. The roads were all sealed up, and even the 7-11 stores were closed. Hong Kong citizens were walking along the deserted roads at night snapping pictures, and despite the severe situation, it felt like an early Christmas celebration.

And then it's Monday again.

I realise that people who have visited Hong Kong can't seem to get enough of it. 6 months later, I'm in the same boat. I started this year in one country and will end it in another. Life is full of surprises, don't you think?

There's been a change in plans. I'll be flying back to Singapore beginning January or even earlier, to be based there and make occasional flights into the Land of Smiles for my next project.

The problem is the flights seem so full, I've changed way too much Hong Kong dollars and I'm still quite stunned by the sudden change.

I've fallen in love with this Kerala Trance binary watch, and I'm afraid I'll cave in and buy it so soon after getting my Nooka.

Yesterday I ran into a WTO protest outside a shopping mall along my street. Protestors were waving flags, playing drums and singing; reporters were filming away and policemen were looking glum.

Weird how protests seem to gravitate round where I stay.

Those who run seem to have all the fun.
- Madonna, "Hung Up"

Ain't that true.

I've a pair of knee length boots I bought some time back in Singapore, just because. They've only been worn a few times back home, mostly during the rainy season when I didn't want my feet to get wet, or when it wasn't too weird to go clubbing in them. Somehow they looked odd even then.

Now, they serve me nearly everyday in the chill here.
Now, I realise they don't belong back home.

When I reached my apartment building back in Hong Kong, the building management passed me a calendar for 2006. It's a farewell gift from my Tahitian neighbour, who left Hong Kong while I was back in Singapore. He didn't leave behind any contact details, so now I only have a calendar filled with glorious tropical pictures of an island he called home and which he hoped never to leave.

I hope he's made it back home safe.

Once, while I was seated next to a glass partition in a MTR train, there stood two little girls leaning against it. They were so short that their tiny ponytailed heads were on the same level as mine. One girl patted her left shoulder gently, and the other obediently leaned her head on the first girl's shoulder.

At that instant, I wondered whimsically if I should lean my head on the glass partition, so we three could have had a mind meld.

It was a beautiful wedding. 13 of us squeezed round a table meant for 10 as we didn't want to split up. We were the ones who boisterously belted out the first yum seng toast of the wedding, though the bridal couple originally opted for a more dignified cheers. The groom drank more than he expected and got emotional. It was the first time I've seen him cry ever since I've known him. He hugged a few of us as we said goodbye though we're not the hugging type. It was the bride who smiled calmly, and offered to throw the bouquet.

This is the first time I've ever travelled to attend a wedding and I'm glad I did.
And I'm glad these two found each other.

I made this trip back to Singapore to attend the wedding of a friend, whose wedding invitation read "to my closest comrades". The wedding couple was radiant and I'm so glad.

Changes I wasn't aware of here confused me: roads changed, bus stops relocated, new shops sprung up and old shops closed. I didn't think I was away that long, until a girlfriend told me she thought I had been gone a year when it's barely 6 months with regular flights home.

Unlike what I've predicted, it hasn't rained since I've been back, or at least that I was aware of. I'm pleasantly surprised. Maybe I've become a rain-stopper.

I slept very little every day and tried to do as much as I could.
I went drinking at 2 new bars which mysteriously sprung up in my absence.
I met friends who obligingly fitted their schedule to my availability.
I watched David Cronenberg's "A History of Violence" but had no time to catch up on my DVDs.
I uploaded nearly 200 more songs into my iPod and hoped that would suffice till Chinese New Year.
I still haven't made it to any Zoukout.
I've received early Christmas gifts.
I remember that this year is the only year for a long time in which I won't be spending Christmas with friends.
I still got teased for falling asleep during drinks with my drinking buddies.

And though I think I'm doing great in Hong Kong, every trip home to Singapore makes me wistful.

My latest pics from Hong Kong.

On the plane back to Singapore over turbulent airspace, I was listening to my iPod on shuffle mode. I couldn't sleep cos at the start of every song, I needed to read the track listing to find out what it was. It didn't help that I love to pick one song and listen to it on auto-repeat ad nauseum, so many songs weren't familiar to me. When my iPod played track 165 (Caribou's "Pelican Narrows"), I realised with a start that I didn't remember this song, wasn't the twee piano and drum&bass beautiful, and it felt like I planted an Easter egg present for myself. And predictably, I broke out of shuffle mode to play this song on auto-repeat.

Wim Wenders said something once along the lines of:
Without music, there'll be no dreams.
Without dreams, there'll be no courage.
Without courage, there'll be no action.

I shall have music.

Last night I brought a girlfriend to try dessert. We ordered a bowl each, and were pondering if we should order another plate of mango rolls to try. The girls sitting next to us had ordered the mango rolls and saw us eying their plate. To our surprise, they simply smiled and waved the waitress over to get 2 more forks for us to share their mango rolls despite our feeble protest. In the end, we shared one mango roll so as not to turn them down outright.

The mango roll wasn't as delicious as I thought, but what was better was the random kindness of strangers.

This morning I came across a film crew from Salon Films shooting at the traffic lights junction across from my office building. Except I was dashing across the aforementioned junction in my black trenchcoat pant suit when I noticed them. I sure hope they weren't shooting a period drama.

Entertained Singaporean visitors the past 3 weekends and I'll be home in 2-3 days' time. I'm actually meeting more Singaporeans than locals here.

Phoned mum yesterday morning and she told me the fridge seemed to have broken down. She complained that the food wasn't kept cold enough, and the fridge emitted a loud rumbling sound. This morning when I called again, mum mentioned that the fridge is fine now. When probed further, mum admitted that she bought lots of foodstuff in anticipation of feeding me when I'm back, and had overloaded the fridge. lol.

Yesterday was the first weekend I was alone for some time and it was lovely. Had a morning run before I set off to watch Michael Winterbottom's film "In this World". This is a touching story revolving round 2 Afghan youths' quest to reach London from Pakistan over land, and how the route was fraught with danger.

Came home to find there's a pro-democracy protest march on my doorstep. Depending on which source you listen to, either 63,000 or 250,000 people marched from Victoria Park past my place down to Central, in a bid to get the government to support their bid for one-person one-vote. The mood was electric. People were chanting slogans through loudspeakers. Traffic came to a standstill. For about 3 hours, I perched myself on the table next to my window to glance down at the marching crowd. 7 trams were stuck in a row along the tracks in front of my building cos there was no way to move through the throng. People brought their kids along even though the kids would have been too young to vote anyway.

Ironically, this is the only Sunday I've known where Hong Kong people, and not Indonesian maids, dominated Causeway Bay.

Today everything seems to revolve round sudoku. A co-worker mentioned that he couldn't do sudoku cos numbers are too difficult, and I replied that he could substitute the numbers with alphabet characters and the game would still be the same.

Everything is just perception.

My co-worker told me that though it would seem easier to do the unfinished sudoku puzzles I've left behind (since more cells were filled in), in reality he found it more difficult. He kept wondering about my reasoning for filling in those cells I did, and couldn't progress further.

I think there's an analogy about life somewhere in here, but damn it's Friday and I don't want to think too much. lol.

I have unexplainable idiosyncracies even while playing sudoku.
I write the numbers in with a pen instead of a pencil, so I can practise to be precise rather than hazard wild guesses.
I can only tolerate black ink and no other colour.
I start a puzzle by randomly opening the book to an undone page, rather than follow the puzzle book sequentially.
And I have unfinished puzzles scattered throughout the book because I keep losing the page of the previously uncompleted ones.

While under stress to deliver the project, my co-worker and I decided to play sudoku even though we had more urgent things to do. We copied 2 pages of my sudoku puzzle book (which contains 4 puzzles), and decided to solve a specific puzzle on our own. Oh, and I tore the solutions page out so I wouldn't cheat. I managed to solve that puzzle before I slept, and then I woke at 6 to solve the other three. This morning when I arrived at work, I found my co-worker's copy of the puzzles on my desk, all completed accurately. lol.

Baking analogy at work today. We need to replace the cherries which have gone bad, so the user is asking for approval to do so. But the user's boss is asking WHY we're using cherries, though cherries were already decided on long ago. So now I'm playing phone tag trying to persuade different folks to support the use of cherries.

And cherries aren't even what the cake is about.