So finally we've made it to the last good day of the year.

Today my UK travel mate and I went shopping for household items at IKEA and Cold Storage. Between us, we bought 16 plastic containers (including real huge ones), magazine files, facial mask, travelling facial kits, dog food, photo frame, oreo ice-cream cookies and one bolster. Oh, and I bought a transparent plastic jar to dump all the foreign currency coins I've had leftover from trips. It's completely filled now and is as heavy as a brick. I've got more packing to do tomorrow, woohoo. Since I've taken leave, I found that I've got less time to read and spent more time running errands. Maybe being on leave isn't such a good idea after all.

3TapRiff and missus invited me and another friend over to their place last night to chill out. We ended up watching the DVD for Trois couleurs: Bleu. I've last watched it in 1993, about 9 years ago. Watching it again I realised I didn't remember much of the movie details till it happened again, but after I've seen it for the second time, I recollected (I lost this word but 3TapRiff supplied it) it with stark clarity. I especially identified with the way Juliette Binoche swims in the show.. it's like the way I need to run.

Spent 13 hours springcleaning (and I've not yet finished). Done so much springcleaning that it has become an extreme sport for me. Started off slow packing clothes cos I thought it would be good to list them down in an inventory. (Yes, I should have heard the alarm go off in my head). The idea is: I should give away 30% of my existing wardrobe, and by listing down every article of clothing, I'd know what constitutes 30%. Besides, if I listed down all my clothes, I'd be much more hesitant to buy more next time. I started off listing dresses cos it should be the smallest category (I'm not really into wearing dresses). 25 dresses later, my eyes popped and I gave up the inventory and just packed. Discovered missing clothes which I didn't realise I had. Realised I'd never fit into those tiny skirts I had back in the University. And it took me 6 hours to sort out the clothes. Spent the next 7 hours packing my room and I've since surrendered for today.

Working isn't as hard compared to this.

On leave today to do springcleaning. Need to reorganise my wardrobe, my desk, my books. Need to reorganise my laptop too, but I've just defragmented it for the first time in 1.5 years and that feels enough to me.

Now I can tell by the way the rain hits the glass that
it wants to be cold.
It wants to be snow.
- Karate, Small Fires

I knew all the music. I was trying to be ahead of the beat. My legs followed bass and drums while my arms and body were guitar or other noises. A whirling arm was a guitar solo.
- Alan Warner, Morvern Callar

I skimmed through the whole of Morvern Callar to pick up all the music references, and there's a lot. With all that music, how bad can things be?

I brought your face down on my head
it was something I rehearsed in a dream
you're too good looking far your own damn good
and you don't know what it could mean

You've got me dying of thirst in the meantime
it even hurts when I scream
you've got me drowning and still in the meantime
you don't know what it could mean

Because in my drunken stupor
I've got to admire your ingenuity
and nod my head so wisely
to the rhythm of your cruelty

You're oh so anguished now

you've got me dying ...

Because you want to have your price
and something you could hold your faith up to
I don't know how to tell you this
But you've got it coming all the way to you

You don't know ...
- Magazine, Rhythm of Cruelty

I ain't got what I want for Christmas. I've been hunting round for ages for My Computer's album Vulnerabilia. Described as experimental electronic soul music, My Computer is sometimes sad but often defiantly disorientating. The only My Computer track I have is from the Best of 2002 CD from Uncut magazine, a song entitled For Somebody Else. It starts with a singer crooning sweetly to a guitar, before you realise that it's not a love song. Not at all. It's a gloating in-your-face song about the ex making a mistake dumping him cos now he's got money and it's all for Somebody Else. Then the electronic fury breaks in and takes over the song, like Mr Hyde overriding Dr Jekyll. And you can't help but smile at the audacity of it all.

52 pages into reading Alan Warner's book Morvern Callar, I realise I need to re-read it in order to list down all the music references. The protagonist is always listening to music and no further explanation is given on the artist or album, you're just expected to know.

A typical example: "In the flat I got a new pack from the carton and used the goldish lighter on a Silk Cut. I put Secondhand Daylight by Magazine on the record player. I switched on and put the needle to Rhythm of Cruelty, the second track on Side One. Then I took out the live album Play and just put all Side One on." This sets the tone for whatever the protagonist is going to do next, but I can't tell what she's thinking till I know what the music is about. I wonder if this is the album the author was listening to while he was writing the book; whether that album inspired him; if this album appeared in the movie as well.

I guess it'll probably be unjustifiably anal to buy all the albums listed in the book, and play them through while reading the relevant section. But then again I'm afraid I'm just the sort of maniac who may contemplate such a move.

My mum has a thing for musical boxes and snow-domes, as well as a hybrid of the two. Neither tempts me, but there's something about kitschy revolving Hallmark angels that captures her heart, rather than the music that's been generated. My mum derives enormous satisfaction just to wind up the musical box and see a whirling figurine, and she'll do it repeatedly till infinity, sort of like a child obsessed with a windup toy. Maybe I've this same fixation transferred to be@rbricks.

So close to Christmas and clearing leave and I still have no time.

I've never kept any toy intact in the original wrappings to preserve their collector's value. About 10 of my Be@rbricks are sitting haphazardly on a huge black candle-stand (which incidentally has never held any candle), together with the crippled Stikfas figurine. This candle-stand is just next to my home laptop and I'll reach out occasionally to cradle a Be@rbrick in my hand while I'm online. Now b12 has got the Horror Be@rbrick from series 5 (which looks like a colourful psychotic clown) sitting at the bottom of his fish tank along with some Playmobil figurine, waiting for the fish to come nibble at it.

Somehow I think the Be@rbricks are happier this way.

In my ex-company, the folks there would carol around the premises on Christmas eve. They would wheel an overhead projector along and beam lyrics of Christmas carols onto the walls; and whichever department they visit would stop work and sing along. I've always thought that it was a nice touch.

An acquaintance broke up with his ex 3 years ago and still refers to her as his fiancee. He couldn't get along with her father and decided to give her up, to the protests of everyone else ('cept her father). After that, he carried on dating but somehow he has derailed. He reminded me of the girl in the Taiwanese movie The Personals, who went through one painful blind date after another when her lover left her.

I really didn't know what to say. Though it works for me, asking him to make himself happy by buying the latest Be@rbrick seems too flippant a piece of advice.

Back from the LTJ Bukem gig. Basically we: Danced on shattered glass shards. Had someone vomit near us. Had people waving their hands in the air while they danced, forcing folks next to them to be in close proximity with their armpits. Were all packed like sardines. Got breathless dancing behind tall men who block. Stuck fingers in our ears periodically in response to the deafening feedback from the lousy sound system. Stank from the smoke.

But I had fun. :) Thanks for staying way longer than 5 songs.

lee (lee) noun: 1. Shelter. 2. The side (of a ship, for example) that's sheltered or away from the direction from which the wind blows.

Cos the most important people in your life, you haven't met yet.
- my best friend's explanation on why I shouldn't stop meeting new folks

I woke up for no good reason in the early morning. With a runny nose. Oh boy.

What struck me most.. at the time was the way he absorbed books. If he were at a friend's house, during one evening he would open easily forty books, and he always read the first and last pages...
He liked cinema as well as any of us, but he was capable of going to see fifteen minutes each of five different films in the same afternoon.
- Truffaut, on his memories of Godard

All I'm looking forward to is that LTJ Bukem gig at Zouk this Friday night. :)

Like Bjork sings in the song Joga, my life is now in a state of emergency. Cept it's a place she wants to be, but not me. I'm worn out and can't think of anything to write now that doesn't revolve round work so I won't. Oh, there is one thing. I've realised that this year I've only received Christmas cards from business associates and married friends (and their little kids). lol.

A business must fulfill the needs of the human spirit. These include survival, safety, play, celebration, love, belongingness, self-esteem and self-actualisation. It must also nurture the ecosystem.
- Deepak Chopra

Sorry Mr Chopra, I must admit I laughed.

I've got a really important thing to do right now but I can't do it cos I'm at work. Sigh.

An important lesson can be learnt from Porcelain's album, entitled I've Got A Really Important Thing To Do Right Now But I Can't Do It Cause I'm Asleep.

On b12's feng shui approach to buying a turntable. b12 is currently considering buying another turntable and has narrowed the choice down to 3. He's equally satisfied with their sounds so he's decided on a feng shui approach to choosing the final one. Since he is Metal (Jing), he doesn't think he needs more metal in his life, so that may safely eliminate the turntable made totally out of aluminium (which I'd have eliminated anyway if it had been me, cos the darn thing weighs 30 kg). The likely victor then would be the wooden turntable which has bits made from ceramic, and this ceramic is the same material as that found in space shuttle cones. Seems like space shuttles returning to earth would encounter great heat resistance upon re-entering the earth's atmosphere, so their cones are made of special ceramic to stop them blowing up.

Sometimes I can't believe the weird stuff my friends know.

My mum saw her first Christmas tree when she was a 5 or 6 year old mischievous kampong girl. It was the opening of some building or other, and there was this Christmas tree in the lobby. She and her bunch of cohorts were so fascinated by the tiny twinkling lightbulbs on the tree that each of them stole one and ran away. Somehow I can't picture my mum stealing a lightbulb now. lol.

After reading da mouse's blog, I got inspired to find out who is vaya? lol.

To himself everyone is immortal; he may know that he is going to die, but he can never know that he is dead.
- Samuel Butler

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-R. Buckminster Fuller

Someone described me today as pedagogical. Had no idea what it means and asked my best friend. He replied "helps in instructing learning" which doesn't sound bad; but then someone else told me it means "stickler for rules". Eh.

Random fact you didn't need to know. Instead of running at 10km/h, I'm Cantonese enough to set the speed to 9.8km/h. Cos it sounds like "long, prosper".
Oh well, good morning to you too.

As you can probably tell by now, I run a lot but it's not running away. Maybe it's the other I want but I don't have the courage yet.

If the best 40 minutes of my life today could be made into a movie, it would be just one continuous shot of me running at constant speed on the treadmill while plugged into my discman. The soundtrack would be Red Hot Chilli Peppers' Can't Stop on auto-repeat, which means you'd hear it about 9 times. On the bottom right of the screen, there'd probably be a time counter which you'd refer to incredulously as time passes, when you realise I'm not doing anything else but running. I don't even reach to change speed on the treadmill. As you get bored though still patient enough to hang on, like you're seeing an avant garde movie to the bitter end cos you can't believe it's happening, you may see a flicker of doubt cross my face as I run pass the 5km mark and wonder if I should push on. And I do, cos my knee is kind, and running makes me happy. And I'd hit 6km with a smile on my face and the ending credits would roll.

Yeah, I wouldn't wanna watch this movie either.

8pm. Haven't had dinner and still in the office. Yesterday this time it was the Red Hot Chilli Peppers' concert. What a difference a day makes.

The Wi-Fi networks are getting there. The 3G networks are getting there. We've got everything but the consumer.
- Paul Chelgren, senior vice president, Nokia

I didn't see it coming. Or maybe I did, and I squeezed my eyes shut like I do in horror films, so that I could open them again when I guess the moment has passed. I hope everything is still the same, or at least normal.

Just 3+ hours before the concert, I went to buy the latest Red Hot Chilli Peppers' album By the Way. Oh well. Going to name teddy Peppers. :)

Today I own a teddy bear again. A 17 inch furry teddy pre-named Ruggles; a gift for signing up for a credit card. Why Ruggles? Doesn't it sound awfully like Struggles? He came with an ugly plaid bow ribbon on top of his head (which I snipped off with my Swiss Army knife minutes after I've intercepted him). I'm going to rename him but I can't think what yet. It's nice just blogging with a teddy in your arms. :)

Those who run across the sea change the sky and not their souls.
- Horace, Epistulae

Now listening to Low. Music to slow your heartbeats by.

A short story I forgot to tell shazz about Tricky's Maxinquaye album. Years back when I still read the local music magazine BigO, there was a list of top 50 (or 100?) albums published in it where Maxinquaye was #1. I thought it odd cos I've not heard of the album then, so I went around to hunt it down. Then I realised the album was banned here (maybe it's an anti-establishment move to vote a banned album as #1?). And of cos I had to have it, and finally bought it at any exorbitant price at a tiny shop in Far East Plaza. I don't think I liked it all that much but can't seem to find it now to sample. Maybe I should try again after sleeping.

Oh yah, I've been awake 23 hours now. Woohoo.

Happy birthday to clouds. :) Have a good trip to KL today and a good one to Spain next year ok?

Lesson learnt today. While reading, I stumbled onto this line: A number tells you nothing unless you know what the number measures. And the thought just crystallized in me. When I was young, I was good with numbers but I didn't internalize them. I didn't love numbers. It's only when I got older that numbers started to make sense. Dates marking the passage of time. Distance run on the treadmill. Beats per minute on a drum & bass track. Tracing values in my customers' systems. Pattern recognition. Length of a pool table. Number of movies watched this year. Decimal places of pi.

Nothing escapes from numbers.

The customer's office was so cold I kept buying one hot drink after another, just so I can cup my hands round the warm glass, and by transference, cup my hands round my neck to thaw out. Drinking it was more a secondary function. In the midst of this, I heard the strains of an old song from my customer's radio, and it was Black's Wonderful Life. I smiled and impulsively did a google search on the lyrics of this song, and sang silently along. The rain poured on outside my window and somehow I didn't give a damn.

I woke just before 6 so I can go down to my customer's site to have a teleconference scheduled at 7am. Not awake yet.

if you see my daughter
don't tell her I'm scared
forty days without water
feel my hands on her hair

I fear.
- Low, Fear

Every day is my favourite journey.
- a strange gem of wisdom I found from a dance music magazine of all places

Too tired to read or speak? Wondering why work is defining more and more of who you are? And how the year flew by so fast? Missing people you've long since lost touch with, and those you're in the midst of losing and can do nothing about? Hoping that things are going to pick up from this downward spiral, not just you but life, the universe and everything; and that we will be fine despite it all? Hoping it's not just you?

Yeah, me too.

Still in the office but yes I'm counting my blessings.

From Whatis.com:
The Pasta Theory of Programming is the idea that various programming structures can be likened to the structures of well-known pasta dishes. The first and most famous example of the theory is spaghetti code, which illustrates the unfortunate tendency of unstructured procedural programming to result in code with little or no tructure, making it difficult to understand and update.

In contrast, lasagna code is said to resemble structured programming, which has an easily understood, layered structure. However, because of unpredictable interdependencies between modules or units of code, the program may be difficult to modify. And ravioli code is analogous to object-oriented programming (OOP), because it is made up of small, separate, and loosely coupled objects that can be individually modified without affecting the other components or the structure as a whole.

The Pasta Theory of programming is attributed to Raymond Rubey of SofTech Inc. In a 1992 letter to the editor of CrossTalk magazine, Rubey exhorted developers to "go beyond the condemnation of spaghetti code to the active encouragement of ravioli code."

Hmm, all this talk about accessories and shopping makes me sound awfully shallow. lol.

This weekend.
Went pub crawling to 2 new pubs owned by people I know.
Bought tickets to Red Hot Chilli Peppers.
Still haven't watched Harry Potter.
Was a treadmill hamster.
Returned library books without completing any of them. Decided to concentrate on own stockpile. Haven't started re-reading second book of LOTR though I initially planned to do so before watching the movie. Think I'll just wing it.
Discovered I've an inventory of 54 necklaces/ pendants, which is quite amusing since I've only got one neck. And I do have fewer rings though I've got more fingers than neck. So logically speaking, lots of these accessories are never going to be depreciated fully by me wearing them often enough. Had a discussion with my UK travelmate where I explained that accessories are more worth it than clothes cos they have a longer life span; and she said yes, but some accessories you have can't be worn when you're 80.
Ignored above fact and bought a little black grip-handle bag and a pair of tiny dangling dragonfly earrings.
Sent 2 rings for servicing. One is the cameo ring where a black crystal has fallen off. The other is an old Tipit ring which was tarnished beyond belief when I rediscovered it recently. Brought it to the Charlotte shop at Takashimaya where the salesgirl dipped the ring in a solution and cleaned it beautifully, before returning the ring as well as a special cloth to wipe the ring with to me. So nice! And I didn't even buy the ring there.
Hope I slept enough.