The best writing is rewriting.
- E.B. White

On second thoughts, it does make sense to name that band after a villain desperately sought after by a nubile young thing. Maybe that's why the band was so obsessed with models.

Yesterday summarized.

The exodus of bakers from my bakery has started and I don't think it's over yet. No matter how nice you treat bakers, they still remember bad incidents you thought were insignificant. Plus the money of course. Everything boils down to money.

I watched Jane Fonda in Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy on a library DVD last night. Nonsensical and lots of gratuituous nude shots of her, but fun. Watched it so I could see why the band Duran Duran named themselves after the villain Duran Duran in the movie. Well actually I still can't see why. To be frank, there's just as much chance of the band naming themselves Barbarella.

The right side of my body is generally weaker than the left, and more prone to malfunction. Weird.

So tired I can fall face down on my keyboard at work and go to sleep before impact. Why is it I never seem to rest on weekends.

There's so much I've got to do but I'm procrastinating as usual. I'm cruising for music online while listening to John Vanderslice's "Time Travel is Lonely" on auto-repeat, and life this moment feels so simple. I don't need anyone or anything else.

Hail to those who have come from the sunlight that surrounds you
Pray for those who have gone from the sunlight that surrounds you
Hail to whatever you found in the sunlight that surrounds you
Pretend all the good things are for you
Pretend all the good things are for me too
And the weather changes not halfway between your house and mine
- Rilo Kiley, Hail to Whatever You Found in the Sunlight That Surrounds You

Music find today: an Indie-pop band named Charming.

Why chewing on straws now feel so empty
Because you were the first to
lean over pluck away
that straw I've chewed on out of shape
and place it in your mouth.
Because you did it spontaneously.
Because even if someone else does it now,
even if he does it without
knowing you've done it before.
It won't be the same.

Baking analogy at work today.
What bakers don't like to hear is: "Evaluate this and give me the ballpark figure." The problem is this is something with really vague criteria, e.g. edible. Customers just want to see a tangible figure, even though there is no basis to derive it for them. The worse thing is once the figure is quoted, you're supposed to uphold it.

Like someone just exclaimed out of exasperation today: "If you don't know what ball game you're playing, you won't know what ball park!"

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

"..my job satisfaction is like having sex without a satisfying orgasm".
- an sms from my best friend

Hmm, putting up this quote probably will get me a lot more hits this week. lol.

Random thoughts after running (and no I've not hit 10km again.. it's just 6km on Monday and 5km tonight, damn it).

If you're supposed to drink a certain amount of water everyday, does it matter if you spread out the intake evenly or take it all at once, as long as you do drink that amount?

And if all that running on treadmill generates energy, why hasn't the gym management thought about harnessing all this energy to power the lights or something and reduce gym fees?

Oh, and I'm rotating between reading 3 books now. I've pretty much read the same number of pages in each book, so I have no idea which one will be finished first. Or even if any will be finished. Woohoo.

Good music is very close to primitive language.
- Denis Diderot, philosopher

.."some people, me included, believe that punk is just the most recent manifestation of this, this spirit, this feeling, you know, that things aren't right and that in fact things are so wrong that the only thing we can do is to say Fuck It, over and over again, really loud, until someone stops us."
- Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveller's Wife

Does this make most people I know punks then?

What I learnt today.
I've got a girlfriend who went to a fortune teller and was advised to wear rings to fill the gaps between her fingers ("so that wealth doesn't slip out of her hands"), and she did wear rings. Not because she was superstitious, but to remind herself not to overspend.

Right this moment.
I'm bored with writing documentation at work but I'm still on it. A friend is online and he tells me about baseball scores, and the upcoming basketball match between Japan and Australia. He has one good and a couple of bad sms messages on his mobile phone from his ex. The good one is too long ago compared to the bad ones. He keeps everything in order to remember. "Remember what?" I ask. "Not to be stupid", he says.

I was having tea with my UK travelmate when she started squinting at a sign in a shoe store just across from us. She read the words on it out loud.. "No food. No drinks. No pornography". Then I thought huh? and looked over at the sign too. I read: "No food. No drinks. No photography".

So folks, there is a limit to what lasik can do for your eyes ok? lol

Again and again I realise I'm no good without music.

I've forgotten how fun it is to randomly surf for films and music. Today's discovery: a band named Behavior which in their words, is "a high-energy hybrid of electronica, jazz-fusion, house and ambient".

Watch the video for Anywhere but Here, where a man proceeds to thrash a hotel room. I don't know about you, but the music made the act seem so right.

Animation short: New Balls Please.

It's all gone Pete Tong.

Eh, scrap that. Today is the last day of the IKEA sale and it seems like my UK travelmate and I are going. lol.

Yesterday I squeezed 7 appointments into a day after 4.5 hours of sleep. That meant I had 1) a work meeting, 2) a breakfast appointment, 3) a lunch appointment, 4) a tea appointment, 5) watched a movie, 6) caught the late night Observatory gig at the Esplanade, and 7) a late night appointment. Oh, and I started and finished a women's fodder magazine inbetween. Talk about maximising time utilization.

Today I'm going to stay home all day. My mum is going to cook me the first meal I've ever had at home since I've come back. I'm going to read and attempt to finish a book out of the stash that I'm reading concurrently. Watch DVDs. Read newspapers. Catch a bit of the Olympics. Nap.

I think today is going to be wonderful.

Synchronised diving at the Olympics. I wish I could have seen that.

When we were in Chicago, we stumbled across a little ad which mentioned a 3 hr tour of Chicago for US$65 on Human Segway Transporters. We were really keen to do that but we couldn't find out how to contact these folks. :( This is probably my biggest regret during this trip.

Gadget dreams, link courtesy of leslie.

Strangest question I've encountered today.
A friend asked if anyone has ever seen me cry. I replied of course the guys have seen me cry at some point in time. Then he said he hasn't seen me cry and he asked, is that bad?

Do you really want to see me cry?

My present mood is like i've packed my luggage, travelled all the way to the airport, cleared customs and was just waiting at the gate to board the plane. And when the announcement came to board, somehow I couldn't budge. So all I could do is sit and watch the plane on the runway through the huge glass windows, while the rest of the passengers trickled away.

Every book tells a story, but I don't want mine to tell just the same story that all other copies of it tell. I scribble notes on the front page of every book of mine to brand it, to explain where and why and how I've bought it, whom I was with, the weather that day and all manners of unnecessary information. Because I never intend for them to leave my company. Because how they've ended up with me is also a story.

When I'm gone, people will be rummaging bemusedly through boxes of my books and reading the front pages, thinking this is the museum guide she bought (and finished reading) when she was queuing for 2 hours to get into the Uffizi musuem in Florence. Or this is yet another language dictionary (but why does she need one for Welsh?). Or this is the banned book (in English) she found at a flea market along a river in Frankfurt, of all places. People will find place-markers in my books, all the wrinkled ticket stubs, little post-it notes, and the rare bookmark.. they will tell I'm often distracted in my reading cos there are so many I'm stuck in the middle of. That I hope one day to finish reading every book I own but somehow that seems too ambitious.

Giant book sale in September where I'll definitely be.

Commuted to work listening to a spoken word album by Hamell on Trial and realised again why I don't buy them. Spoken word albums are like audio books: too much concentration is needed and they don't bear repeated play. Not an album to run to.

Indigo Film Festival. You know you want to watch them.

Just over a year ago, I blogged about this piece by Arvo Part entitled Cantus in memory of Benjamin Britten, which was used in the saddest long tracking shot in the film Japon. Today I heard and recognised it again in Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11. I wish I could find the mp3 again.

He might be on the same record as us. But he's not on the same groove.
- Dr Philippe Bargain on Alfred Merhan, who has lived on a bench inside Paris' Charles de Gaulle airport for 16 years

Today different people have told me memories about myself I didn't recall. It's like I've outsourced my memory to their safekeeping and they have guarded it so well that I'm often surprised.

Everything is for the eye these days - TV, Life, Look, the movies. Nothing is just for the mind. The next generation will have eyeballs as big as cantaloupes and no brain at all.
- Fred Allen

God, is it time to go for that run now? Are you sure?

Random thought #10102: The most frequently I've used my driver's license is actually during this trip to the States. I would be flashing it to show I'm legit for drinks, and confused bouncers and bartenders would be wondering where on earth that photo ID came from. But no one ever questioned it.

Random thought #2543 (boy where are all these thoughts coming from suddenly?): Despite my obsession with numbers, I can't remember the last time I've ever had a digital watch.

So I'm counting down that hour to running (cos hey, running in the 5am darkness has less visibility than running in my dreams) by reading the archives of a stranger's blog. I've started on weights again and realised how pitifully weak my arms have become. I'm trying to avoid my personal trainer till I've recovered somewhat and won't look so pathetic next time I see him. I still haven't broken open that copy of Playboy from its shrinkwrap and why haven't I bought Playgirl too? And if mum chanced upon it before I palm it off to my bro, would she understand that I just wanna read the article on Spike Lee?

I'm awake just before 5am, trading sms messages with Z about how he's outrunning me and I felt like running at 6am. He thought I'm insane by artfully ignoring the fact that he ran despite being unwell. God, how I want to pull off a Forest Gump right this instant. Is there an unhealthy addiction to running and if so, can it be cured by prescribing sleeping pills so you doze off before you hit the tracks?

I remember watching Festival Express, a documentary on a train trip some musicians took while travelling round music festivals in Canada a la Woodstock. They would drink, smoke and jam on the train, and get off to perform at festivals again and again. It was a great big party on tracks. Anyway, there was this scene of Janis Joplin performing and she was so alive I thought she would self-combust or burn up the screen at the very least. She was absolutely electrifying and she couldn't even carry a tune properly. She also died 2 months after this train trip. The old lady sitting next to me started sobbing silently as we watched Janis sing her heart out and strangely, I cried too.

Did I mention that I've been cussing and swearing more on this trip than on any other? I don't know if it's America or the irreverent travel companion who thought I swore too earnestly like I was trying too hard. Ok, I don't look like I swear. Anyway. I'm now feeding on this blog and being very amused. Thank goodness some people can write well.

Right this moment, here are the things zipping through my head at warp speed:
I regret not having bought more Don DeLillo books except Cosmopolis.

I also recalled an exchange which went something like this:
a guy said "I love you" in a clear and deliberately casual voice to a girl, like he was testing the sound volume of an open mike but looking forward to hearing an echo. She paused and realised that an answer was expected, so she replied "thank you".

I need to run again.. it's been so long since I've run properly. I MUST run 10km again. And do weights. And sleep more. And all those reminders I've left myself at the top bar which I've ignored.

Enough. Sleep first.

I woke up this morning and decided to live life a little more dangerously.
I drank coffee. lol.

I've been dozing fitfully in the British Film Fest screenings. I would fall asleep one moment and wake up the next, puzzled that a character has died in the interim. Maybe if I sleepwatched enough, the film snippets would become part of my dreams?

A character hallucinated over a Boney M song in his near-death experience, and he didn't even like Boney M. That horrified me, the thought of dying to a bad song.

For my birthday last year, one of the presents from you was a red dog bolster wearing an old T-shirt of your favourite band. Well in a household of 2 women, that T-shirt is the largest piece of clothing available. When I was away, mum has taken that T-shirt off the dog and used it for purposes just a step above a dish rag. Somehow I found that oddly amusing. lol. Are you influencing her music tastes now?

Random thought #526: If one doesn't indulge in coffee or cigarettes, is it less likely to empathize with the conversation revolving round coffee and cigarettes?

Random thought #525: I hardly had any jetlag after my return home, and got back to the normal routines quite quickly. In comparison, even though a friend remained here all along, he still operated as if his body were in another timezone. If it were him who was away, could we then be in the same time window finally?

CDs I've got on the trip..
Killers' Hot Fuss.
Radio 4's The New Song and Dance.
Postal Service's Give Up.
Snow Patrol's Final Straw, which comes with a free compilation from Virgin Records.
Pernice Brothers' The World won't End.
Plane's Hello More. (Didn't even manage to hear them perform their opening act)
Candidate's Tiger Flies.
Indie compilation entitled Kill the Popstars.
Rosebuds' Makeout.
Chris Brokaw's Wandering as Water.
Hidden Cameras' Play EP.
French Kicks' Trial of the Century.
Hamell on Trial's spoken word album Yap.
Honorary Title's Anything else but the Truth (cutest singer I've seen of all the acts.. floppy fringe, tattoes and all)


Freebie samplers include:
Sumack's Metaphysical single.
Angela McCluskey's It's Been Done single.
Sampler from Finger Records.
Sampler on Cuban music.

As requested by lainey :), here are the books I've bought in NY:

1. Da Capo Best Music Writing 2001
Bought at a compound for branded goods sale. Strange.

2. P.J. O-Rourke - All the Trouble in the World.
First book I've bought from Strand Books.

3. Martha Cooley - The Archivist.
Second book I've bought from Strand Books on my second trip past it.

4. 4 Screenplays of Ingmar Bergman:
Smiles of a Summer Night
The Seventh Seal
Wild Strawberries
The Magician
Bought from the Newberry library book sale in Chicago. I've only watched the movies Seventh Seal and Wild Strawberries, and to be frank, I'm not that big on Bergman though his films are superb. They plod on too slowly.

5 & 6. International Film Guide 1965
Bought the only 2 identical copies from the Newberry library book sale in Chicago.

7. Richard Dyer MacCann - Film: A Montage of Theories
Bought from the Newberry library book sale in Chicago.

8. Gareth Branwyn - Jargon Watch: a pocket dictionary for the jitterati.
Last book bought from Strand Books cos it was so small and wouldn't dent my already full luggage.

A little reminder so I can blog later on my trip (well if I'm not procrastinating), and hopefully I didn't jumble up the events:

Day 1 (Mon, NY):
Breakfast at Katz's Deli. City Hall. Ground Zero. Wall Street. Times Square. Discovered Mac's didn't have MacGriddle but ate it anyway for the first time since watching Super-size Me. Watched off-Broadway Musical of Musicals.

Day 2 (Tues, NY):
Shopped at Woodsbury Commons. Watched Rosebuds/ Camera Obscura gig at NY Knitting Factory.

Day 3 (Wed, NY):
Internet cafe. Guggenheim Museum (walked up the museum in spirals and alternated between seeing weird sculptures and a bizarre private collection of photos focusing on different kinds of hands). Union Square (I've never succeeded in passing by Strand Books without going in and buying a book). Greenwich Village. Cold Stone Cremery (see I got the name right but it's not the best ice-cream in NY!). Standup comedy at Caroline's (sexist and racist jokes, I didn't laugh that much).

Day 4 (Thu, NY):
Soul food at Sylvia's, Harlem. Central Park. Whitney Museum. Pernice Brothers gig at Mercury Lounge (where we got the set list autographed!).

Day 5 (Fri, NY):
Breakfast at Katz's Deli again. Watched movie Metallica: Some Kind of Monster. Grand Central station. Saw Scissor Sisters perform at Tower Records (well, I was too short to see much of anything but they played well live). Clientele gig at NY Knitting Factory.

Day 6 (Sat, CHI):
John Hancock building (went up to the observatory). Cheesecake Factory (was recommended and ate avocado rolls). Museum of Contemporary Art. Gig at Schubarbs (had a pepper burger there which strangely contained avocado.. my first 2 meals in Chicago have convinced me that the place is avocado-crazy).

Day 7 (Sun, CHI):
Ate Krispy Kreme donuts for the first time (cheesecake & key lime flavours). Sears Towers (didn't go up). Gene Siskel Film Centre (not open). Newberry Library book sale (why would anyone travel all that distance to go to a library book sale? Don't ask). Terra museum. Tea with leslie at Moonstruck Cafe. Wicker Park summer festival gig.

Day 8 (Mon, CHI):
Museum of Photography (photo exhibition on twins at a twins festival, as well as another one on prostitutes in India.. beautiful pictures, and the museum was just next to the hotel too). 50's American diner with deliberately rude waiters who danced on bar tops (think Happy Days). Chicago Cultural Centre (exhibition of 3-D buildings with painted silhouettes in windows). Art Institute of Chicago (rushed through it but didn't make it to the Edward Hopper paintings). Millenium Park (strange mirror surfaced metal bean sculpture, and an exhibition of family portraits round the world).

Day 9 (Tues, NY):
Flew back from Chicago. Lincoln Centre. Gig by Hamell on Trial at Fez's.

Day 10 (Wed, NY):
Dim sum (where they served huge beef balls, didn't offer spoons, and we had to order in Cantonese). American Museum of Moving Images. Saw Naked Cowboy singing to his guitar in the middle of Times Square (I think I saw him 5 years ago in Times Square too). Watched movies Festival Express and Spike Lee's latest She Hate Me.

Day 11 (Thu, NY):
Picked up film. Beulah's farewell gig at Castle Clinton.

Day 12 (Fri, NY):
J&R's. Visited United Nations. Last minute shopping at Mott Street. Flew home.

Due to some weird mishap, my Outlook Express wasn't responding so I cancelled the process. Then when I relaunched it, I've lost every single email since Dec 2003! I've tried to prowl the web for Outlook Express Recovery tools but I've not succeeded in restoring the emails :( If you know something that can help, pls tell me! I'll really appreciate it! Thanks!

Oh, and I've landed this morning at 5+ am. And there's lots of things to do and I'm not sure I'm not suffering from jetlag. There's lots to blog too, but I fear I'll procrastinate. lol.