Now and again, I realize what a gentle kind soul I've married.

We have reversed roles. Now, I'm the one doing most of the cooking. Simple fare like udon, claypot noodles, soba and now spaghetti; only vegetables, but every dish has been taught by you. Whatever I cook, you don't mind eating the same variations again and again.

I believe we are content.

After being married for nearly a year, we're finally going on a proper honeymoon (a trip which doesn't constitute an extended work trip or a visit to see family).

Can't wait!

Mucking around without you includes:
Watching DVDs on 2x fast forward with subtitles on, so I could still catch the plot without getting bored;
Rummaging through the closet to find clothes I no longer wore and figuring out how I could update the look (sadly more misses than hits);
Baking an angel food cake for the first time and realizing that though the instructions to bake sounded simple, it was hell to clean up after;
Walking everywhere.. to the market, to the library, listening to my iPod and talking to myself;
Trying to read real books rather than off the net;
And sending random text messages to you: to make you laugh, and come home soon.

You had a work function tonight and I ate alone without you.
Dinner was cake and ice-cream.
I need to learn to eat better alone.

Today, I accidentally wiped out all your text messages which I've kept on my cell phone. I freaked out.

We went to Hong Kong last Fri evening to attend your dad's wedding. It was nice to meet your family again, as well as revisit my old haunts in Hong Kong. We got home yesterday, and started our self-quarantine (i.e. work from home) today.

I still worked 12 hours, and I think it's even more intensive than working in the office. There was nothing to distract me. You cooked lunch and dinner, and replenished the water when it ran low. I ate lunch in the same length of time that I would take going out to eat from the office. Basically, all I had to do was work.

However, you made the observation that I seemed to be in a better mood at the end of the day.
And it's true.

Sometimes, I really think I'd have quit this job long ago if not for you. Though you've never intended me to do what I don't want to, you make me feel better about doing what I do.

I can't help thinking I should be doing something else.

Today, I found out at work that my Malaysian counterpart (whom I refer to as my Malaysian brother) is going to transfer out of his department end July. In fact, his successor is already starting to learn the ropes. My Hong Kong counterpart is leaving the organisation, and his successor is also in place. On one hand, I feel sad that they'll be leaving; but on the other hand, I'm glad that they're finally going to have more time to themselves. Also, I feel apprehensive about being the only "old bird" left.

I don't know if this job is what I'm meant to do.

I understand why some people could get names of their loved ones tattoo'd on them because I think I could, for you.

Today, during our weekly Sunday ritual of reading Postsecrets, you read the entry on Frank's convocation speech and turned away. You said, "This is what our society has become, convocation speech in (single) trite sentences".

I liked it anyway.

Yesterday, I baked a carrot cake for the first time ever. It was mostly pre-packaged, but I felt a sense of fulfillment from baking that cake which I don't get from work.

We both worked at home over the long weekend, you much more than I. However, you're much more affable about working on your rest days. You told me you enjoy working at home with me, because it's not so boring as when you work alone in your office.

That amazes me about you. The fact that you work more than I do and don't seem to burn out. But then, does it mean I'm a better emotional crutch to you than you are to me?

Once, while trudging home with bags of grocery, I turned and asked what you would do if I should die before you did. You said women have longer lives than men.

"But what if I should die before you," I insisted. "Would you marry your high school sweetheart?"

"No, of course not!" you replied. "I would marry someone 30 years younger! In fact, she's probably being born right now!"

And we laughed loud and long over that.

Still eating the last of the fudge brownies we've baked 2 weeks ago. They were pretty good, despite the fact that we had to halve the ingredients and make do without some. Thinking of baking a cheesecake some time, as well as volunteering again.

Suddenly, life is filled with possibilities.

Spent a large part of Saturday at the AWARE EGM, and was so glad that moral justice prevailed. Must not take things for granted, and am going to volunteer again, despite having less time to spare outside work.

Must remember that whatever happens, we must have meaning in our lives.

Your Inner Nationality has surprised me. You're happy to be Swedish.

You are friendly, gentle, and modest, with a good heart and a lusty nature. You laugh easily, have a well-developed sense of irony, and tend to understand people intuitively. You are interested in new people, but will always maintain notions of insider vs. outsider, and this will lead you to commit to a group of friends and lovers who will be with you your entire life. If you have a weakness it's your timidity -- you feel pressure to remain 'lagom' -- on an even par with others. But this is also your strength.