What I don't have but want:
the film "Napoleon Dynamite" (believe it or not, the one voted best MTV movie)

What I have and want:
H.L. Mencken's book "Minority Report" (collected essays on random observations like "We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.")

What I have and don't want:
A complete guide to lockpicking (what about electronic locks anyway?)

What I don't have and don't want:
Too much to list.