Today seems like a rehearsal for life after you're gone. I went to the gym and ran my usual 6km, no more no less. All the while I was listening to Radiohead's A Wolf at the Door on auto-repeat, the song that never failed to start you singing while we were looping through the album. It's not the easiest song to sing to, and there're so many lines that I wondered if you were making them up as you went along. And I guess maybe you were. I'd sing softly too, but as you've laughingly teased, sometimes I was 2 semitones out of tune.

After the run, I weighed myself and found that I'm at my lightest today despite your attempts to make me eat more, and to eat proper food. So I went and binged on Mac's (more but not proper food) while reading the latest Uncut magazine. Then I wandered over to sample music at Borders, and tried an album by Captain Beefheart whose songs you love. I've not heard his music before, but once I heard it I knew why.

I've often comforted myself with the thought that everything happens for a reason, but you don't buy that. For you, the birds and the fish, reasons are for the Gods.

We don't choose whom we love, but for me I'm glad it's you.