After throwing away the pens that don't work anymore, an inventory of my office stationery revealed the following:
6 mechanical pencils (though I don't use pencils and don't own pencil lead)
3 wooden pencils (worse cos I don't own any pencil sharpener; should be discarded yet I can't bear to)
1 yellow scaly fish pen (inherited from a close ex-colleague, so it's irrelevant if it still works)
1 flower pen (looks like a huge lavender flower blooming out between my thumb and forefinger when I clutch it to write; to perk me up during meetings but I've yet to use it)
1 Indonesian figurine pen and
1 Korean figurine pen (souvenirs from co-workers' overseas trips; to remind me I've not yet visited either country)
1 torch pen (not functional since there's no battery in it)
2 highlighters (1 green and 1 yellow)
3 pairs of chopsticks (to seek donations to help others have the means to feed themselves)
1 green pen (why?)
1 red pen (from whom?)
and finally,
8 normal pens.

Of the lot, the only item I've actually paid for is the flower pen. Maybe I should bite the stem between my teeth, or tuck it behind my ear at the next meeting.